The Divided Knight - Chapter Fourteen

Zoe had used her cleric's powers on Thaddeus to heal his broken nose before falling asleep. This had no doubt added to her exhaustion, and Thaddeus was sure she wouldn't remember doing it when she woke up, but the fact that she had done it after having already done so much, after having already pushed her abilities – both old and new – to their limits, spoke volumes about what lengths she was willing to go to. The reason why she had done it – whether it was her personal feelings for him, his importance to the overall goal of stopping Atraxos the Black, or just because he was hurt and she happened to be the nearest healer – didn't matter. Her actions that day had shown Thaddeus that she would stop at nothing to see what needed to be done would be.

You could have no better ally in this, Thaddeus, Aylander said, the first time he had spoken since being forced back into Thaddeus's sword during the encounter with the Lich. Lady Zoe's spirit is indomitable. I doubt anything could break her.

“You seem rather taken with her, Aylander,” Thaddeus muttered.

No more so than someone else I could mention. Someone who happens to be much more alive than I.

Thaddeus looked across the small fire he had built to where Zoe slept. She was snoring softly and there was a small smile on her lips. Thaddeus wanted to reach out to her, to run his fingers gently through her auburn hair, but what would she do if he did? What if the feelings he had for her were his alone, a boyhood crush he had never been able to let go of?

Do you remember her tears back at the abbey, Thaddeus? She was fearful of losing your friendship. You mean a great deal to her.

“She's so much older than I am, Aylander. She has powers I could never dream of having – my other half got all the gifts when it comes to that, it seems – and I'm pretty sure clerics aren't allowed to have those kinds of relationships. No, I need to focus on what's important. I need to focus on finding the Wanderer and stopping Atraxos. I don't have time for anything else.”

Only fools think they have no time for companionship.

Thaddeus looked at Zoe, again. It was amazing she could sleep like that, given what little warmth the fire provided and what little shelter they had in the hollow beneath the crest of the hill from the icy wind that had decided to start howling down at them from the Ivory Spires. “What about you, Aylander?” Thaddeus asked. “Did you have time for companionship back when you were still alive?”

Aylander didn't answer right away, and Thaddeus could feel his sadness and regret when he finally spoke. There was someone, he said. Someone I cared a great deal for. She never knew my feelings, however. I was called away by my duties as one of the True before I could tell her.

“Would your duties as one of the True have prevented you from pursuing her?”

Normally, they would not have. The True were free to marry and pursue whatever relationships they desired. But, when it fell to me to guard the tomb which, at the time, I did not realize imprisoned Atraxos the Black, any freedoms I had were taken from me.

“I'm sorry, Aylander,” Thaddeus said. He was still looking at Zoe. “You should have told her before you left. You still would have been called away, but at least you would have known if she felt the same way about you as you did about her.”

Which is why you must tell Lady Zoe how you feel about her.

Thaddeus nodded. “You're right,” he said. “But I'm afraid.”

As was I. Don't repeat my mistake because of it.

Zoe slept the whole night through, hardly moving the entire time. Shortly before dawn, Thaddeus decided to set a couple of rabbit snares, wanting to see if he could catch them something to eat for breakfast that would be different than their rations. He wound up catching two rabbits – something that surprised him, as signs of game had grown more and more scarce since entering the eastern marches – and was roasting them on spits over the fire when Zoe woke up.

“Thaddeus,” Zoe said, “what are you doing?”

Her voice startled Thaddeus, and when he looked over, he saw Zoe – who didn't look at all like she had just woken up from a deep sleep – staring at the roasting rabbits with an uncertain look on her face. “I'm cooking breakfast,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”

Zoe looked up at him with a scowl, then returned her attention to the rabbits, waving her hand in the air above them. Whatever that told her apparently surprised her, judging by the wide-eyed look she gave Thaddeus when she was finished. “These should be tainted,” she said. “They aren't.”

“That's good. I'd hate to have to throw away something that smells so good.” Thaddeus took one of the spits and handed it to Zoe, who eyed it for a moment, then snatched it from his fingers and immediately began wolfing down the rabbit. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Zoe said around a mouthful of food. A bit of grease was starting to run down her chin. “You going to eat yours?”

Thaddeus grinned at her, taking the other spit and starting to eat his own rabbit. After the salted pork of the last two days, the rabbit was delicious, and, surprisingly, Thaddeus finished his before Zoe finished hers. Once both of them were done eating, they used some of their water rations to clean their hands and faces, then Thaddeus snuffed the campfire. Looking out at the land ahead of them, which wasn't as hilly as what lay behind, but was steeper and strewn with boulders, Thaddeus figured it would be after sundown before they reached the true foot of the mountains.

“We lost time, yesterday,” Thaddeus said. He looked at Zoe. “Will it be safe if we have to travel after dark?”

“I can't say for sure,” Zoe said. “Things feel different, today, though, so my guess is that it will be.”

“We're getting low on water.”

Zoe closed her eyes and turned around in a slow circle. “There's a spring at the foot of the mountains,” she said, opening her eyes and looking at Thaddeus. “It's clean. We should be able to refill our waterskins there.”

I told you to have faith, Aylander said, which prompted a sour look from Thaddeus.

“What did he say?” Zoe asked, smiling.

Thaddeus glared at her. “Nothing important.” He started walking, feeling his cheeks flush when he heard Zoe giggle behind him.

They walked in silence, navigating their way around the boulders, each step bringing them closer to the massive, intimidating mountain range that was the Ivory Spires. Clouds hid the sun for most of the day, and the wind, while not as fierce or cold as it had been the night before, buffeted them every time they were in the open. Though they had followed a road – or what was left of one, at least – the last two days, the road had ended at the crest of the hill where they had battled the Lich, and Thaddeus began to wonder how the path they now wound for themselves would serve them once they were well and truly into the mountains.

Did we miss something back at the hill? Thaddeus asked Aylander. Did the road continue on in some way that I failed to notice?

You know that it did not, Aylander said. As for missing something, I am less certain of that. I feel there is something I should be remembering regarding the ways through the Spires, but, no matter how hard I try, it remains lost to me.

Did you ever travel through the Spires when you were alive?

That's the thing, Thaddeus. I clearly remember having done so, but I cannot remember how it was done. I find that extremely frustrating.

“You and me both,” Thaddeus muttered.

“What was that?” Zoe asked.

Thaddeus glanced over his shoulder at her. “Aylander says he's forgetting something about the ways through the mountains.”

“I'm not surprised. The ways through the Ivory Spires are supposed to be protected by constructs called Guardians. According to what I've been able to learn about them, the Guardians wipe the memories of those they allow to pass.”

The Guardians! Aylander said. Of course!

Thaddeus stopped, turning to face Zoe. “And when were you planning on mentioning that?”

For a moment, Zoe stiffened at Thaddeus's tone, then she slumped, looking abashed. “When I needed to?”she said in a small voice.

Thaddeus sighed, rolling his eyes skyward. Then he smiled, looking at Zoe and chuckling. “All right,” he said. “What else can you tell us about these Guardians?”

“They're supposed to be ten feet tall and made out of rock. Other than that, not very much.”

“How do you get passed them?”

You must answer their challenge and prove you are no threat, Aylander said.

And how do we do that?

I do not know. That is part of what I cannot remember.

They continued on. When the sun set a few hours later, they found that they did not have to rely on light from the moon and stars to guide their path – Thaddeus's sword, somehow sensing that it was after dark and that the person who carried it was still on the move, began to glow from within its scabbard. Drawing it, Thaddeus found that that the glow coming from it was about as bright as that of a torch, and so he held it before them, using it to light their way. It was almost three hours passed sunset when they finally reached the foot of the mountains, but, when they got there, the location of the spring Zoe had mentioned was not readily apparent. All they saw in every direction was an all but unbroken wall of rock.

“I can still sense it, and it's close!” Zoe said. “There's no reason we shouldn't be able to see it.”

“Unless something's hiding it from us,” Thaddeus said, sitting on a rock and resting his sword, point down, between his legs.

The rock was large enough for two, and Zoe sat down beside him. “You mean something like the Guardians,” she said.

Thaddeus nodded. “Maybe it's part of their challenge. Hel, maybe it is the challenge, and if you can't answer it successfully, you don't get access to the spring.”

“Which means you die of thirst up here.” Zoe sighed, then looked over at him. “Are you as bloody tired as I am?”

“Probably more than you are. I didn't sleep, last night.”

Thaddeus saw her small smile in the glow from the sword. “I thought that might have been the case,” Zoe said. “Were you worried about me?”

Thaddeus shrugged, looking away from her. “I might have been,” he said.

“You were. I sensed it.”

Thaddeus snorted. “I doubt that. You were more asleep than I've seen anyone.”

“You're right. But I'm also a cleric, and with the Abbott's powers on top of what abilities I already had, it's become easy for me to sense strong emotions, even in the deepest sleep. I felt your concern for me, your need to watch over me as I slept. And, if anything, that made my sleep even more peaceful than it already was.” Zoe reached over and put her hand on Thaddeus's shoulder. “Thank you, Thaddeus.”

Tell her, Aylander said.

Thaddeus was more highly aware of Zoe's hand on his shoulder than he had been of anything else in his entire life. He wanted to turn his head and look at her, to look into her eyes and tell her everything about how he felt, but he was still afraid. “Did you . . . did you sense anything else?” he asked.

“I'm not sure,” Zoe said. “Maybe. But, sometimes, a cleric's own feelings can get in the way of what she senses from others.”

The two of them were silent for a time. Zoe didn't take her hand away, and Thaddeus was glad of it. “I . . . um . . . I dreamed of you, sometimes,” Thaddeus said at last, breaking the silence. He still wouldn't look at her. “I dreamed of you a lot, actually, and used to wonder how you were. How your tavern was faring. If you'd ever found a . . . a husband for yourself. I told myself I'd come visit you, someday, even though my oaths as a Holy Knight tied me to the Conclave and to the mages. It used to worry me that you wouldn't recognize me when I did.” Thaddeus laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Silly, huh?”

“I don't think it was silly,” Zoe said softly. “I don't think it was silly, at all.” Her grip on his shoulder tightened. “Look at me, Thad.”

Thaddeus finally allowed himself to turn his head. His breath caught when his eyes met Zoe's. “Thad,” she said, “I want you to tell me what you're feeling. I need to know that what I think I'm sensing from you isn't just my own emotions getting in the way.”

“Gods Above, help me,” Thaddeus said. “Zoe, I'm in love with you. I think I have been since before I was sent away.”

Zoe smiled, and Thaddeus was sure he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes. “I was hoping you'd say that. Because I'm in love with you, too. I used to think I wasn't, back before you were sent away – I mean, how right would it be for a woman who was almost three hundred years old to have feelings for someone who wasn't even out of his teens, yet? – but, after you were gone, I found myself missing you. Missing our talks, and the way you used to open up after I'd given you a bowl of stew. Horace – the Abbott – used to catch me daydreaming, sometimes, and because of the connection the Abbott shares with the other members of the Order, he always knew it was about you. At first, he would chide me about it, reminding me of how much dividing your soul might change you, but, as time went on, and the daydreams persisted, he stopped.” She looked away, then, sniffing and blinking her eyes. “Thaddeus, there is one more thing you need to know. When your soul was divided, the half of you that became the Wanderer turned into someone who isn't very nice. He was dark and brooding, and, though he retained your innate sense of justice – something that, for all I've seen, seems to be woven into every part of your being – he seemed to enjoy violence. Because of that, I don't know how he will react when we eventually find him.”

“You're afraid he'll try to kill me, aren't you?” Thaddeus asked.

Zoe nodded. “He's always known what he is, and what he was. Right from the very moment he was created.” She looked at him. “And he's always hated you.”

Thaddeus smiled at her. “I don't hate him, though. I need him to be complete, and, just like I know that, I'm sure he know he needs me, too. He won't kill me, Zoe. I know he won't.”

Zoe gave him a weak smile. “He better not. Not after what I've told you about I feel. I had been saving that for after we found him and figured out how to put your soul back together.”

“INDEED, HE WILL NOT KILL YOU. FOR HE IS A GUEST UNDER MY ROOF, AND I AM HOPING THAT YOU, SHOULD YOU PROVE CAPABLE OF ANSWERING MY CHALLENGE, WILL BE, AS WELL.”

The booming voice came from behind them. Leaping to their feet, Thaddeus and Zoe whirled around to face its source, Thaddeus bringing his still glowing sword to bear. Standing there, not more than five feet away, and staring down at them with eyes that glowed with the same blue light as Thaddeus's sword, was a man-shaped creature made entirely of rock.

“SHOULD YOU NOT PROVE SO CAPABLE,” the creature, which was clearly one the Guardians, and which spoke despite not having a visible mouth of any kind, went on, “THEN BOTH YOU, AND THE ONE WHO IS MY GUEST, WILL DIE HERE, FORGOTTEN LIKE SO MANY WHO HAVE COME THIS WAY OVER THE CENTURIES.”

Impressive, is it not? Aylander asked, sounding so enthusiastic that, had he been present in the flesh, Thaddeus would have strangled him.