Zoe had used her cleric's powers
on Thaddeus to heal his broken nose before falling asleep. This had
no doubt added to her exhaustion, and Thaddeus was sure she wouldn't
remember doing it when she woke up, but the fact that she had done it
after having already done so much, after having already pushed her
abilities – both old and new – to their limits, spoke volumes
about what lengths she was willing to go to. The reason why she had
done it – whether it was her personal feelings for him, his
importance to the overall goal of stopping Atraxos the Black, or just
because he was hurt and she happened to be the nearest healer –
didn't matter. Her actions that day had shown Thaddeus that she
would stop at nothing to see what needed to be done would be.
You
could have no better ally in this, Thaddeus,
Aylander said, the first time he had spoken since being forced back
into Thaddeus's sword during the encounter with the Lich. Lady
Zoe's spirit is indomitable. I doubt anything could break her.
“You seem rather taken with
her, Aylander,” Thaddeus muttered.
No
more so than someone else I could mention. Someone who happens to be
much more alive than I.
Thaddeus looked across the small
fire he had built to where Zoe slept. She was snoring softly and
there was a small smile on her lips. Thaddeus wanted to reach out to
her, to run his fingers gently through her auburn hair, but what
would she do if he did? What if the feelings he had for her were his
alone, a boyhood crush he had never been able to let go of?
Do
you remember her tears back at the abbey, Thaddeus? She was fearful
of losing your friendship. You mean a great deal to her.
“She's
so much older than I am, Aylander. She has powers I could never
dream of having – my other half got all the gifts when it comes to
that, it seems – and I'm pretty sure clerics aren't allowed to have
those
kinds
of relationships. No, I need to focus on what's important. I need
to focus on finding the Wanderer and stopping Atraxos. I don't have
time for anything else.”
Only
fools think they have no time for companionship.
Thaddeus
looked at Zoe, again. It was amazing she could sleep like that,
given what little warmth the fire provided and what little shelter
they had in the hollow beneath the crest of the hill from the icy
wind that had decided to start howling down at them from the Ivory
Spires. “What about you, Aylander?” Thaddeus asked. “Did you
have time for companionship back when you were still alive?”
Aylander
didn't answer right away, and Thaddeus could feel his sadness and
regret when he finally spoke. There
was
someone,
he said. Someone
I cared a great deal for. She never knew my feelings, however. I
was called away by my duties as one of the True before I could tell
her.
“Would
your duties as one of the True have prevented you from pursuing her?”
Normally,
they would not have. The True were free to marry and pursue whatever
relationships they desired. But, when it fell to me to guard the
tomb which, at the time, I did not realize imprisoned Atraxos the
Black, any freedoms I had were taken from me.
“I'm
sorry, Aylander,” Thaddeus said. He was still looking at Zoe.
“You should have told her before you left. You still would have
been called away, but at least you would have known if she felt the
same way about you as you did about her.”
Which
is why you
must
tell Lady Zoe how you
feel
about her.
Thaddeus nodded. “You're
right,” he said. “But I'm afraid.”
As
was I. Don't repeat my mistake because of it.
Zoe
slept the whole night through, hardly moving the entire time.
Shortly before dawn, Thaddeus decided to set a couple of rabbit
snares, wanting to see if he could catch them something to eat for
breakfast that would be different than their rations. He wound up
catching two rabbits – something that surprised him, as signs of
game had grown more and more scarce since entering the eastern
marches – and was roasting them on spits over the fire when Zoe
woke up.
“Thaddeus,” Zoe said, “what
are you doing?”
Her voice startled Thaddeus, and
when he looked over, he saw Zoe – who didn't look at all like she
had just woken up from a deep sleep – staring at the roasting
rabbits with an uncertain look on her face. “I'm cooking
breakfast,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”
Zoe
looked up at him with a scowl, then returned her attention to the
rabbits, waving her hand in the air above them. Whatever that told
her apparently surprised her, judging by the wide-eyed look she gave
Thaddeus when she was finished. “These should be tainted,” she
said. “They aren't.”
“That's
good. I'd hate to have to throw away something that smells so good.”
Thaddeus took one of the spits and handed it to Zoe, who eyed it for
a moment, then snatched it from his fingers and immediately began
wolfing down the rabbit. “Hungry?”
“Starving,” Zoe said around
a mouthful of food. A bit of grease was starting to run down her
chin. “You going to eat yours?”
Thaddeus
grinned at her, taking the other spit and starting to eat his own
rabbit. After the salted pork of the last two days, the rabbit was
delicious, and, surprisingly, Thaddeus finished his before Zoe
finished hers. Once both of them were done eating, they used some of
their water rations to clean their hands and faces, then Thaddeus
snuffed the campfire. Looking out at the land ahead of them, which
wasn't as hilly as what lay behind, but was steeper and strewn with
boulders, Thaddeus figured it would be after sundown before they
reached the true foot of the mountains.
“We lost time, yesterday,”
Thaddeus said. He looked at Zoe. “Will it be safe if we have to
travel after dark?”
“I can't say for sure,” Zoe
said. “Things feel different, today, though, so my guess is that
it will be.”
“We're getting low on water.”
Zoe closed her eyes and turned
around in a slow circle. “There's a spring at the foot of the
mountains,” she said, opening her eyes and looking at Thaddeus.
“It's clean. We should be able to refill our waterskins there.”
I
told you to have faith,
Aylander said, which prompted a sour look from Thaddeus.
“What did he say?” Zoe
asked, smiling.
Thaddeus
glared at her. “Nothing important.” He started walking, feeling
his cheeks flush when he heard Zoe giggle behind him.
They
walked in silence, navigating their way around the boulders, each
step bringing them closer to the massive, intimidating mountain range
that was the Ivory Spires. Clouds hid the sun for most of the day,
and the wind, while not as fierce or cold as it had been the night
before, buffeted them every time they were in the open. Though they
had followed a road – or what was left of one, at least – the
last two days, the road had ended at the crest of the hill where they
had battled the Lich, and Thaddeus began to wonder how the path they
now wound for themselves would serve them once they were well and
truly into the mountains.
Did
we miss something back at the hill?
Thaddeus asked Aylander. Did
the road continue on in some way that I failed to notice?
You
know that it did not,
Aylander said. As
for missing something, I am less certain of that. I feel there is
something I should be remembering regarding the ways through the
Spires, but, no matter how hard I try, it remains lost to me.
Did you ever travel through
the Spires when you were alive?
That's
the thing, Thaddeus. I clearly
remember
having done so, but I cannot remember how it was done. I find that
extremely frustrating.
“You
and me both,” Thaddeus muttered.
“What was that?” Zoe asked.
Thaddeus glanced over his
shoulder at her. “Aylander says he's forgetting something about
the ways through the mountains.”
“I'm
not surprised. The ways through the Ivory Spires are supposed to be
protected by constructs called Guardians. According to what I've
been able to learn about them, the Guardians wipe the memories of
those they allow to pass.”
The
Guardians! Aylander
said. Of
course!
Thaddeus
stopped, turning to face Zoe. “And when were you planning on
mentioning that?”
For a moment, Zoe stiffened at
Thaddeus's tone, then she slumped, looking abashed. “When I needed
to?”she said in a small voice.
Thaddeus sighed, rolling his
eyes skyward. Then he smiled, looking at Zoe and chuckling. “All
right,” he said. “What else can you tell us about these
Guardians?”
“They're supposed to be ten
feet tall and made out of rock. Other than that, not very much.”
“How
do you get passed them?”
You
must answer their challenge and prove you are no threat,
Aylander said.
And
how do we do that?
I do not know. That is part
of what I cannot remember.
They
continued on. When the sun set a few hours later, they found that
they did not have to rely on light from the moon and stars to guide
their path – Thaddeus's sword, somehow sensing that it was after
dark and that the person who carried it was still on the move, began
to glow from within its scabbard. Drawing it, Thaddeus found that
that the glow coming from it was about as bright as that of a torch,
and so he held it before them, using it to light their way. It was
almost three hours passed sunset when they finally reached the foot
of the mountains, but, when they got there, the location of the
spring Zoe had mentioned was not readily apparent. All they saw in
every direction was an all but unbroken wall of rock.
“I
can still sense it, and it's close!”
Zoe said. “There's no reason we shouldn't be able to see it.”
“Unless
something's hiding it from us,” Thaddeus said, sitting on a rock
and resting his sword, point down, between his legs.
The
rock was large enough for two, and Zoe sat down beside him. “You
mean something like the Guardians,” she said.
Thaddeus
nodded. “Maybe it's part of their challenge. Hel, maybe it is
the challenge, and if you can't
answer it successfully, you don't get access to the spring.”
“Which
means you die of thirst up here.” Zoe sighed, then looked over at
him. “Are you as bloody tired as I am?”
“Probably
more than you are. I didn't sleep, last night.”
Thaddeus
saw her small smile in the glow from the sword. “I thought that
might have been the case,” Zoe said. “Were you worried about
me?”
Thaddeus
shrugged, looking away from her. “I might have been,” he said.
“You
were. I sensed it.”
Thaddeus
snorted.
“I doubt that. You were more asleep than I've seen anyone.”
“You're
right. But I'm also a cleric, and with the Abbott's powers on top of
what abilities I already had, it's become easy for me to sense strong
emotions, even in the deepest sleep. I felt your concern for me,
your need to watch over me as I slept. And, if anything, that made
my sleep even more peaceful than it already was.” Zoe reached over
and put her hand on Thaddeus's shoulder. “Thank you, Thaddeus.”
Tell
her, Aylander said.
Thaddeus
was more highly aware of Zoe's hand on his shoulder than he had been
of anything else in his entire life. He wanted to turn his head and
look at her, to look into her eyes and tell her everything about how
he felt, but he was still afraid. “Did you . . . did you sense
anything else?” he asked.
“I'm
not sure,” Zoe said. “Maybe. But, sometimes, a cleric's own
feelings can get in the way of what she senses from others.”
The
two of them were silent for a time. Zoe didn't take her hand away,
and Thaddeus was glad of it.
“I . . . um . . . I dreamed of you, sometimes,” Thaddeus said at
last, breaking the silence. He still wouldn't look at her. “I
dreamed of you a lot, actually, and used to wonder how you were. How
your tavern was faring. If you'd ever found a . . . a husband for
yourself. I told myself I'd come visit you, someday, even though my
oaths as a Holy Knight tied me to the Conclave and to the mages. It
used to worry me that you wouldn't recognize me when I did.”
Thaddeus laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Silly, huh?”
“I
don't think it was silly,” Zoe said softly. “I don't think it
was silly, at all.” Her grip on his shoulder tightened. “Look
at me, Thad.”
Thaddeus
finally allowed himself to turn his head. His breath caught when his
eyes met Zoe's. “Thad,” she said, “I want you to tell me what
you're feeling. I need to know that what I think I'm sensing from
you isn't just my own emotions getting in the way.”
“Gods
Above, help me,” Thaddeus said. “Zoe, I'm in love with you. I
think I have been since before I was sent away.”
Zoe
smiled, and Thaddeus was sure he saw the glimmer of tears in her
eyes. “I was hoping you'd say that. Because I'm in love with you,
too. I used to think I wasn't, back before you were sent away – I
mean, how right would it be for a woman who was almost three hundred
years old to have feelings for someone who wasn't even out of his
teens, yet? – but, after you were gone, I found myself missing you.
Missing our talks, and the way you used to open up after I'd given
you a bowl of stew. Horace – the Abbott – used to catch me
daydreaming, sometimes, and because of the connection the Abbott
shares with the other members of the Order, he always knew it was
about you. At first, he would chide me about it, reminding me of how
much dividing your soul might
change you, but, as time went on, and the daydreams persisted, he
stopped.” She looked away, then, sniffing
and blinking her eyes. “Thaddeus, there is one more thing you need
to know. When your soul was divided, the half of you that became the
Wanderer turned into someone who isn't very nice. He was dark and
brooding, and, though he retained your innate sense of justice –
something that, for all I've seen, seems to be woven
into every part of your being – he seemed to enjoy violence.
Because of that, I don't know how he will react when we eventually
find him.”
“You're
afraid he'll try to kill me, aren't you?” Thaddeus asked.
Zoe
nodded. “He's always known what he is, and what he was. Right
from the very moment he was created.” She looked at him. “And
he's always hated
you.”
Thaddeus
smiled at her. “I don't hate him, though. I need him
to be complete, and, just like I know that, I'm sure he know
he needs me, too. He won't
kill me, Zoe. I know he won't.”
Zoe
gave him a weak smile. “He better not. Not after what I've told
you about I feel. I had been saving that for after we
found him and figured out how to put your soul back together.”
“INDEED,
HE WILL NOT KILL YOU. FOR HE IS A GUEST UNDER MY ROOF, AND I AM
HOPING THAT YOU, SHOULD YOU PROVE CAPABLE OF ANSWERING MY CHALLENGE,
WILL BE, AS WELL.”
The
booming voice came from behind them. Leaping to their feet, Thaddeus
and Zoe whirled around to face its source, Thaddeus bringing his
still glowing sword to bear. Standing there, not more than five feet
away, and staring down at them with eyes that glowed with the same
blue light as Thaddeus's sword, was a man-shaped creature made
entirely of rock.
“SHOULD
YOU NOT PROVE SO CAPABLE,” the creature, which was clearly one the
Guardians, and which spoke despite not having a visible mouth of any
kind, went on, “THEN BOTH YOU, AND THE ONE WHO IS MY GUEST, WILL
DIE HERE, FORGOTTEN LIKE SO
MANY WHO HAVE COME THIS WAY OVER THE CENTURIES.”
Impressive,
is it not? Aylander asked,
sounding so enthusiastic that, had he been present in the flesh,
Thaddeus would have strangled him.
